Getting stoned ‘What’s the Buzz?’

‘Tell me what’s happening.’ – I couldn’t resist leading with the famous song from Jesus Christ Superstar. Very catchy tune.

Before we get to the context for the title, I think it is only fair to give people a warning about this piece. It is very sardonic. I know I just published piece on the tension of humour so the irony is not lost on me.
When I wrote Sign of the times,
about schools using signs to promote their values I didn’t expect to be writing so soon about another institution using the same practice but to a different effect but here we are.

I have an aversion to any form of hate towards any being – be they animal, vegetable, mineral or etheric…think that covers all bases. The play on language is also intentional and I hope people can appreciate the juxtaposition as a way of holding ‘lightly’ some very serious human rights issues. Here we go…

It’s not often that a double entendre (getting stoned) has such vastly different connotations. In fact the smoke cloud of irony is so thick I might just have to inhale. I was in hysterics this afternoon reading the Huffington Post – the story of Jennifer Louise Lopez who knocked on the door of a local church advertising ‘stoning’ and not of the happy buzz variety but of the ‘stone throwing’ kind.

She ‘rocked up’ and knocked on the door and declared herself to be a lesbian and was ‘there for her stoning.’ But if that doesn’t shock or disturb you then you might be horrified to know that the guy who answers the door says ‘they don’t have any stones and to come back the next day.’ How hard up can this church be! No stones? Lets get a donation going – no money just masonry. Perhaps the local baseball team could offer to coach church members on how to throw. Sadly stoning is still used as a form of punishment in some parts of the world, kind of barbaric when have much better weapons and means of killing people.
Alternatively a peaceful protest where large amounts of cannabis are ritualistically sacrificed on burning ‘faggots’. Confused? The original meaning of faggot relates to the burning of heretics and bunches of sticks tied together were called ‘faggots.’

I’m guessing the acquiring of large amounts of weed would be illegal and anyone using it a dangerous criminal and should be locked away to keep the public safe. In fact, lets not stop there, let us go all the way and reveal the horrifying truth about the hemp plant itself. That it is truly evil as a ‘wonder plant.’ Don’t take it for gospel, do your own research. Here is a place to start.

There is only one way to truly fight hate and that is with love. I’m not much of a theologian – but – there does seem to be a lot of contradictions regarding ‘practicing what you preach’ and I suppose that is what the brave actions of Miss Lopez highlight. If you put it on a sign – it is a public statement – a declaration – an ‘announcement.’

I’m not sure what Jesus would say to Miss Lopez – I would hope he wouldn’t be escorting her back the next day. But I think I know what ‘Brian’s’ Mum might say – “He’s is not the messiah – he is a very naughty boy!”


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